لا تقتلي قلباً أحبك كالمجنون

وتلقي روحاً تجاوزت لأجلك كل الظنون

فالحب ماهو لعبةٌ رابحٌ فيها أو مهزوم

الحب قلبٌ تملؤه المشاعر والجنون

إن كان بيدك إحرسيه بالعيون

وإن أضعته ستبكي عليه ليالٍ وشهور

لا تتركي قلباً عاش لأجلك كل العهود

من نظرةٍ أولى أشعل قلبك بنارٍ حنون

ولا تطعني قلباً بخنجر تنزف منه السموم

فالحب أسمى من أن يجرح

أو يقهر بألمٍ مسكون

وإن كانت لديك فرصة لا تتركي الباب مقفول

فالحب إن طرق بابك

سوف تعيشي في القصور وقصة حبٍ سوف تنشر

عن حبٍ عاش ولن يزول

T.N.T

I feel I lost everything
Living my life for nothing

I have nothing attached to, specially my spirituality
And to gain it again, I really don’t have the ability

I feel that God will never forgive me
This is not what he wanted me to be

I had kind of humanity
I lost it out of stupidity

At the same time, my best therapist just had a vacation
While I was living 2 weeks of depression

From the day I said bye
I was never high

How can I when I am not feeling her inside?
When she goes for a vacation, I feel as if she left me a side

Logically, I understand she needs it
But emotionally I can not accept it even a bit

I feel so lonely without her
I really miss her

She is everything I have
With her I feel so brave

To stay alive
And happily to survive

1 week past as 2 month
Where I cannot open my mouth

And say I am sad
Which made me live a hard time in my bed

Not being able to sleep
Calling you so deep


For 18 hours a day
Until I believed the last time was the last goodbye

Now, I am crying deeply
Waiting for tomorrow fearfully

But whatever happens I want to thank you
And say one last thing:” till the last breath in my life I love you”

DOUDZ

rain! on the land of beauty
rain! wash the anger of my heart
rain! clear the feelings to me
rain! so the sun can shine even more
rain! there is nothing beautiful than the sky's eyes
I am crying like the sky, pouring my pain away
because the sun will shine tomorrow
and see the beauty of the pain fading away
I am smiling right now
I am smiling to tomorrow, because it is a better day
I am smiling to tomorrow, because I'll see her beautiful face
I am smiling to tomorrow, because I'll hear the word i wanna hear
I am thankful to the rain, because its washing my pain away.

JO.D

وهكذا تبدأ قصة حبٍ
بأملٍ جامحٍ يعشق الجنون
تسافر الأحلام على ظهر الغيوم
وتغرق العيون ببحر العيون
والقلب يدق والروح تحوم
والجسد يرقص رقصة النسور
وتدق ساعة النصر المحتوم
ويغرق القلب والروح الحنون
بمشاكل الحب والقهر المظلوم
فقصة العشق ما هي تدوم
إلا بموت الأحباب تكون
لكن الحب دوماً يكون
نسراً يحلق فوق النجوم
وقمراً يضيء أضواء العيون
والجسد إن مات
القلب يدوم
والحب في القلب دائماً مسكون

T.N.T

She walked into my life
Like a queen would only do
And so this time around
The fairy tale came true

In the midst of it all
She looked right in my eyes
So the world disappeared
The second she took me miles

It took long rainy days
And endless nights of pain
For the perfect rainbow
To sneak in after the rain

TRU

تحومي حول نفسك في دوامة حزنك
في قلبك جرحٌ عميق يبحث عن من يشفي جرحه
مكسورة الجناح تسيرين
تتخبطين في داخلك، وترفضين الحياة
ابتسامه خاطفة، ابتسامه حزينة
حتى الابتسامه باتت خطيئة
تريدين الخروج إلى هذه الحياة
تريدين تنشق هواء الحريه
صوتك مازال يختنق
حرقة قلب تهتف بأعلى صوت أريد أن أعيش
لماذا تكونين سجينة نفسك
لماذا تكونين سجينة دمعك وحزنك
لن تبقي تبكي وتحزني
فجري غضبك، اصرخي بأعلى صوت
بصوت فيه كبرياء وكرامة وقوة جبارة
أريد أن أعيش، أريد أن اختار
أريد حريتي وكرامتي، وعنفواني


T.N.T

Dear my heart,
After you’ve been around the block a couple of times, you start to draw your standards. You start to figure out what you want and what you need and how to compromise between the two. It takes time and effort and a lot of work, that normally you wouldn’t have done. But you feel it when the person you’re with is worth fighting for, worth trying for… worth feeling for. And you get your heart broken. Because that’s how the story goes. People keep falling in and out of love their entire life. They’re always seeking new ways and new people to fill the void, that empty little black hole in their existence. And filling up that little black hole, it makes all the difference. It gives your life meaning. I mean, let’s face it: a life without love?! A life without that special someone to watch over you and witness as you fulfill your destiny? That’s no life at all!

And in the midst of falling in and out of love, there is that one person! That one love that stands out from all the rest. Raising your standards so high that it makes it almost impossible to find anyone else to rise to the occasion, ever!

And even if you were the one to flee this love, this commitment. Even if you were the one who could not handle that much affection and wrap your mind and heart around that much comprehension and devotion. Even if you were the one to break her heart, you still end up heart broken, unfixable.

Along the way of your healing process, you stumble across a new person. You like that person so much that you think “ maybe, just maybe that person will fix my heart”. And you live in that fantasy trying to recreate what you had felt before all the while knowing deep down that there is no way the two can be compared!

The thing is you never brace yourself for the other outcome: the possibility where this new person is not supposed to heal your heart, but where you’re supposed to fix your heart on your own.

You know when someone stands out from the rest. Even if you’ve only been through a couple of relationships. Even if half of them don’t count. Even if you still have 100 lives to live. You know when someone is a turning point in your life. You know when that someone will be the pillar to which everyone else will be compared.

You can tell when you’ve been imprinted by a love so strong and so perfect.

Dear my heart, I am so sorry I had to put you through this. I am so sorry I made all of your next conquests meaningless. I wish you nothing more but to be able to get past through that one day, to be able to feel again through the numbness.

Dear my heart, I am sincerely hoping this is the last time I write you such a letter… twice in a lifetime is quite enough. I hope we never meet again.

Yours sincerely, Destiny.

kim

I had a dream
it seemed beautiful ..
it was lighting like a candle
giving hope all over the place..
giving warm feelings to me
day after day.
day after day..
and this candle started to lose the charm
started to lose the light
hope, love, faith
they all started to fade away..
it started to get dark..
you know what i mean
the hope is gone..
the faith is is gone
only love was hanging in there..
and i knew ..
it will go away..with no looking back
with cruelness it will go
with knives straight in the heart
and it will let it bleed and bleed

i know i will have scares that will keep reminding me!!

so i took a deep breathe..and a deep look
realizing that the candle is suffering since there is no air to keep it shine
and in no time
i turn it off..i let it die..
i was sad and i am still
my heart is sore with no tears..

this is my dream..
i let it die..
and it hurt
it is so painful
that i feel
so fucking high.

JO.D

وهكذا تبدأ قصة حبٍ
بأملٍ جامحٍ يعشق الجنون
تسافر الأحلام على ظهر الغيوم
وتغرق العيون ببحر العيون
والقلب يدق والروح تحوم
والجسد يرقص رقصة النسور
وتدق ساعة النصر المحتوم
ويغرق القلب والروح الحنون
بمشاكل الحب والقهر المظلوم
فقصة العشق ما هي تدوم
إلا بموت الأحباب تكون
لكن الحب دوماً يكون
نسراً يحلق فوق النجوم
وقمراً يضيء أضواء العيون
والجسد إن مات
القلب يدوم
والحب في القلب دائماً مسكون

T.N.T

if i try and tell you i'll make it better for you
if i promise you i won't hold you back
if i do everything i can to set you free while you're with me
if i cuddle and snuggle and take care of you
if i play with your hair and drown in you eyesif i tell you how gorgeous you are
if i honestly tell you i want you in my life
if i nurse and cradle youif i kiss you gently to sleep
if i tuck you in my arms so warmif i hold you so tight and protect you
if i promise to be there for you whenever...
if i promise i'll love you
if i promise i'll hold you
if i promise to give you anything i can give you without asking you to stay or waiting for anything in return...
if i promise i'll set you free whenever you can't stay anymore...
if i promise i'll love you just as long as i can stay...
will that be enough?!

kim

لا تقتلي قلباً أحبك كالمجنون
وتلقي روحاً تجاوزت لأجلك كل الظنون
فالحب ماهو لعبةٌ رابحٌ فيها أو مهزوم
الحب قلبٌ تملؤه المشاعر والجنون
إن كان بيدك إحرسيه بالعيون
وإن أضعته ستبكي عليه ليالٍ وشهور
لا تتركي قلباً عاش لأجلك كل العهود
من نظرةٍ أولى أشعل قلبك بنارٍ حنون
ولا تطعني قلباً بخنجر تنزف منه السموم
فالحب أسمى من أن يجرح
أو يقهر بألمٍ مسكون
وإن كانت لديك فرصة لا تتركي الباب مقفول
فالحب إن طرق بابك
سوف تعيشي في القصور وقصة حبٍ سوف تنشر
عن حبٍ عاش ولن يزول

T.N.T

يقولون مرحلةً هي حياتنا
خيالٌ نعيشه منذ الصِغَر
عائلةٌ سبَّبَت مصيرَنا
وأن بهذا مرَض
يُشبِّهوننا بمخلوقاتٍ حيوانيه
ونُعتبر أنَّنا خَلَل
عِلاجاتٌ يحضرون
كأَّننا فأر تجارِب نَقبَع
أضحى حُبَّنا ليس بِحُب
إنَّمَا هو خطيئة قَدر
ولو أنَّهُم يسمعون لفهِموا اَّنَّنا بَشر
فالقلب بداخِلِنا يَقبع
والروح في داخِلنا تعيش
مِثلهُم لدينا جَسَد يحتوي على قلبٍ وروح
والوجَع في داخِلِنا يعيش
وُرغم ذلك نرفُض التَفريق
نُحارِب بسلاح الكِلمَة
والكلمة هي المصير

T.N.T

As we are sitting here, waiting for everyone to sit in their places, excitement is unbelievable. The theater is almost full and you can almost hear all the heartbeats.
And then at 6:12 exactly, total silence. Everyone is watching the book's teaser.
At the end when they say "wisil l bareed... wa akhiran" Everyone claps , nadz on stage, again more clapping that wouldn't allow Nadine to start talking.
One thing is obvious, Nadine can hardly speak.
Why they wrote this book? Because there are programs like "a7mar bl khat l 3areed", because people look at
If you look at elections you will find is stupid, filled with old men that dont look like us! (applause)
Why we want to launch this book? To change the elections, to change the political cast so that they look at us.
The revolution...
The revolution has started through us.
We want to gather all the gay individuals so they become a political force.

And now a word from the Heinrich Boel... What's interesting is that, according to heinrich boell, this is one of the biggest project funded by heinrich boell so far. As a women's rights' project.

And now, to great applause Nadine presents Lina, who has accepted to read the stories in English.
And now... Bareed mista3jil!

Je ne comprends pas
Pourquoi les gens ne me comprennent pas
Pourquoi les gens ne m’aiment pas
Et je ne les aime pas

Pas de compagnie
Pas de vie
Pas de rire
Mais seulement un cri

Une amie est a cote de mois depuis longtemps
une amie est gentille avec mois depuis longtemps
Et avec cette amie je suis contente merci dieu pour cette connaissance que j’ai eu avec cette amie

~~Meem~~

Pointing your fingers at me
I’m so different…
Marginalizing me
I’m so different…
Spitting at me
I’m so different…
Hurting me
I’m so different…
Blaming
so different…
Hitting me
I’m so different…
Underestimating me
I’m so different…
Hunting me
I’m so different…
Dumping me
I’m so different…
People,
I’m going to live my life…
Carry on and never give in
I’m going to make my own destiny
I AM WHO I AM
With or without you
I’M INDIFFERENT






11/09/2008

~Silent Soul

~POWER TO THE FINOCHIOS

There were two girls, living apart
Once they met, and the flame burnt their heart
This was the apple, this was the sin
And the whole world dumped them in a bin

God is Love, and Love was their blame
They had to pretend and become with no name
To hide themselves from the wolves of society
That made hunting these girls their best specialty

Condemned for loving one another
They lost father and mother
No friends, no support, no understanding
And these two lovers were left with nothing

Criminals…CONVICTS
Being themselves caused them to pay through their nose
But instead of giving up their love, they chose to live in conflicts
Carry on, and make out of their love a prose

The day will come when the world will see
That their Apple is nothing but the fact of what they can really be.





~ Silent Soul on 04/09/2008

I always keep fresh basil between my diaries pages, I wish you can smell it! It’s the essence of memories and time.

You know, I miss going to bed without worrying about tomorrow! For just one night, one day not to worry about surviving tomorrow and another day of war.

Basil leaf © 2007 by brr2

I wish somebody told me when I was young, that life can wait. I wouldn’t have rushed into growing up. It’s true what they say, when we are young we can’t wait till we grow up, but then again when we are raging wars towards life and fighting our way in, sometimes we just want to stop, drop everything and go play.







But with what, play with what? Dreams?

And here if I may quote miss Tori Amos: “ So many dreams on shelf” and all what is between your hand is your personal profile declaring, in every page, You as a Failure.

The worst thing after disappointing the people you love; is disappointing yourself.

And I did…..

Not so hard to figure out, not so hard to measure.

You know how hard it is to wake up and get out of bed when you know you have nothing to do, and you know that whether you got out of bed or not, nothing in the world would be missing you, not even you. You are just a lame addition to the world. A perfect waste of energy and space.

Good things happen, to someone else indeed, I guess to someone who’s not living on the edge.

I met a friend a few days ago and he told me, when you hit rock bottom, the only way to look is up. But when you hit the bottom, and you say that’s it there wont be something worst, and then you slip deeper and deeper……

Now now, let’s blame it on gravity. Gravity keeps pulling me down, and guess what, there is nowhere else to go.



~Anonymous~

Ce que j’aimerais te murmurer que chaque fois que je pense a toi, mon cœur s’arrête de battre tout carément! Ce que j’aimerais te dire que chaque fois que je pense a toi, j’ai le souffle tout court! Ce que j’aimerais te confier que le seul fait de regarder dans tes yeux, m’emporte loin… très loin…

Cependant je te neglige, je t’esquive. Je pretends que je n’te kiffe même pas. Que tout simplement je suis très froide envers toi. Et que d’autres, y’en a assez pour me plaire.

Et ce dont tu ne te rends même pas compte sont les sentiments de rage qui m’envahissent chaque fois je vous voies ensemble! Ce que j’essaie fort de cacher c’est la jalousie qui m’irrite chaque fois que tu lui prends la main! Ce que je ne veux pas que tu sache c’est que mon âme est débordée. Ce que je pretends avec persistance c’est qu’il n’y a rien dans mon cœur…

Mais c’est simplement hors de question que je fasse quoi que ce soit… j’agonise, je souffre, je me tords… tout en silence, tout en douceur… sans aucune mercie de ta part…

~Kim 64~

How can you not believe
A soul you created
A spirit you gave birth to
Throw me in a river and say goodbye
There is nothing for me to add
More than that; I can’t stand
I gave you chances
I gave you excuses
I am fed up
From your accusations
How can you break the heart
Of a being you created
How can you leave behind
A child that needed you the most
And I am heartbroken
To see the tears in my eyes
Because of you
They say that without you I’m nothing
And how many times I believed so
But it’s time to let go
All the past shall be forgotten
And the future should be built
With you out of my life
And it’s time to erase you
From the beautiful picture I have drawn
Though I know deep inside
That it is hard enough
And it’ll tear me apart
But I have done my best
And you never even tried
To make it up to me like you have said
Throw me in a river and say goodbye!
Throw me … And say goodbye!
Goodbye!

~By L.A.~