As we are sitting here, waiting for everyone to sit in their places, excitement is unbelievable. The theater is almost full and you can almost hear all the heartbeats.
And then at 6:12 exactly, total silence. Everyone is watching the book's teaser.
At the end when they say "wisil l bareed... wa akhiran" Everyone claps , nadz on stage, again more clapping that wouldn't allow Nadine to start talking.
One thing is obvious, Nadine can hardly speak.
Why they wrote this book? Because there are programs like "a7mar bl khat l 3areed", because people look at
If you look at elections you will find is stupid, filled with old men that dont look like us! (applause)
Why we want to launch this book? To change the elections, to change the political cast so that they look at us.
The revolution...
The revolution has started through us.
We want to gather all the gay individuals so they become a political force.

And now a word from the Heinrich Boel... What's interesting is that, according to heinrich boell, this is one of the biggest project funded by heinrich boell so far. As a women's rights' project.

And now, to great applause Nadine presents Lina, who has accepted to read the stories in English.
And now... Bareed mista3jil!

Transgender Day of Remembrance 2008

This Monday, I was reading this interesting article: Tonight we are going to party like it’s 1985 in which the author, Helen G who is a Transwoman, is denouncing the nomination of Julie Bindel (no seriously check out the link to her Wikipedia page, it’s short and interesting) for the Stonewall awards.

Why you may ask? Because, according to Helen, Julie is a Transphobe. Interesting, non? You see this case may not be directly relevant to our cause or our struggle as Meems, but it does in a way portray the everlasting, internalized xenophobia. Let me summarize for you what has been discussed in those articles:

You have on one hand, Julie Bindel and whoever she represents, who says things like:

As a lesbian, I no longer want to be lumped in with a list of folk defined by ‘odd’ sexual practices, she means anything that is not Lesbian
Transsexuals, having received short shrift from heterosexual society, asked to be included in our rainbow alliance
Queer (anyone who is into “kinky” sex)
Questioning (those having a think about who and how they might shag in the future)
finally (for now) Intersex (those born with biological features that are simultaneously perceived as male and female)
The mantra now at “gay” meetings is a tongue-twisting LGBTQQI.
But I for one do not wish to be lumped in with an ever-increasing list of folk defined by “odd” sexual habits or characteristics. Shall we just start with A and work our way through the alphabet? A, androgynous, b, bisexual, c, cat-fancying d, devil worshipping. Where will it ever end?
No seriously that is exactly what she says, I did not in any way alter any word she said, you can follow the link to her article to check. Now to be honest, I do understand her frustration… Or at least I feel like I should understand it somehow. For example, Lesbians were heavily implicated in the birth of the feminist movement, but then their cause was silenced to ensure the safety of the feminist cause, they gave more than they took. Then in the gay movement they were very implicated also but they were quickly rendered invisible, for all so many reasons. And I have heard a few times trans people make it very clear that they are not homosexuals, NO, they were just born in the wrong body!

So I guess I understand where all the frustration may come from.

Now on the other hand you have Helen G and whoever she represents (apparently a lot of Trans individuals, and more specifically Feminist Trans women) states that the Lesbians never did and never will accept transsexuals as true/full women.

Which gets me to ask myself a few questions, like for example: why is it so difficult for trans and homos to work together? Let’s look at the Lebanese scene, I work on queer issues. I have been working with gays and lesbians for like 2 years now and though the gay/lesbian community admits the presence and importance of trans issues, though they want to be inclusive, it is not that simple. Sometimes I even wonder if Trans people want to be part of the queer scene. Sometimes our goals are so different that I wonder what could possibly bring us together?

For LGB individuals the goal is to be accepted as people that are attracted to people from the same sex. Trans individuals want to be accepted as individuals whose sexual organs do not coincide with their self-identified gender. Right?

Of course it can be right! If this is how you perceive your activism then the previous statement is true for you. And in that case, I don’t really see how you can combine both in one group that works for the same mission.

But keep in mind that this is not how everyone sees activism, this is not how I see activism and this is not what Meem’s mission statement consists of. My activism in Meem is just part of a greater cause, it is the struggle for diversity. I don’t really care if I am accepted as a woman that loves women and I don’t care if I am woman that is not really a woman that does not belong to the female gender. I honestly don’t care. I allow myself to be with the person I am in love with and I allow myself to be person I am, gender and social standards are not really my problem, even prison is not really an issue for me.

My struggle, my goal, my grail is to alter society so that no one would suffer discrimination, no one would feel wrong because of their sexual orientation, their gender identity, their sex, their ethnic origin, their religion, their political choices, their social class… I want no one to suffer from discrimination… Enough already!

Is this feasible? Is it realistic? Probably not, but you know what? It doesn’t matter. I want a mission that makes sense and for me this definition makes sense. And through this definition, trans individuals and homos fight for the same cause, eradicating heteronormativity and this is only one aspect of what I want to work on. But it is the same social mechanism that leads to both homophobia and transphobia. It is those little social boxes that we are supposed to fit it:

“perfect boy, perfect girl, perfect love, perfect marriage proposal, perfect wedding, perfect kids, in a perfect house, with the perfect dog and the perfect cat that have the perfect fight.”

I fit nowhere in that definition, neither do gays, lesbians, bisexuals, queers, questioning, transgender, transsexual, transvestites, Intersexes, single mothers, shy men, atheists, anarchists, people who can’t afford fancy wedding rings and outfits… and so many others. And all of these groups are my activism allies.

Well I guess that says it all for me… I am queer and I am here to stay. Yes attack me, beat me, insult me, laugh at me and put me in jail. It is ok, you don’t know any better. I do. Heteros may not agree, lesbians may not be interested and trans’ may ridicule me, but then again, I have had worse, I have survived times when I didn’t agree with myself, when I was not interested in my own ideas and when I ridiculed myself. What do you think that you can do to make it worse for me?

I guess Bon Jovi was right, it’s my way. It’s now or never.

Pazuzu

Pointing your fingers at me
I’m so different…
Marginalizing me
I’m so different…
Spitting at me
I’m so different…
Hurting me
I’m so different…
Blaming
so different…
Hitting me
I’m so different…
Underestimating me
I’m so different…
Hunting me
I’m so different…
Dumping me
I’m so different…
People,
I’m going to live my life…
Carry on and never give in
I’m going to make my own destiny
I AM WHO I AM
With or without you
I’M INDIFFERENT






11/09/2008

~Silent Soul

~POWER TO THE FINOCHIOS

They judge you
They don’t even know you
You have known me for a year
Or maybe for two
You have known me for three years
Or maybe moreYou don’t know my favorite color
Do you even know the color of my eyes?
You don’t know my fears
Do you even know what makes me laugh?
You don’t know my past
‘Cause you never bothered to ask
Do you even know what happened to me when I was a child?
You don’t know what this all means to me
Do you even know what I need?
Most probably you don’t even know my name
You never gave me credit for making an effort
To change what you hate about me
‘Cause you never knew who I was
When I come asking for advise
You push me away
And this is not what a friend would do
And this is not what a family would do
And this is not what a lover would do
A friend won’t showoff
A family should support
A lover should give
And that’s what you don’t do
This is not a cry for sympathy
Nor a cry for help
This is not a cry for attention
Nor a cry for care and love
It’s a cry of “wake up and smell the coffee”
When you care you ask
When you are asked you help
When I have been always there for you
You should always be there for me too!

L.A

Saba7o girls and boys w ya3tikon l 3afye,

After the outing of the issue 0 of our Magazine “Bekhsoos” titled: Bekhsoos l homophobia

And after the Internal and International admiration that this magazine has collected, it’s time for everyone to get their brains back to work and start preparing for the next issue.

Quoting the crazy Editor-in-Chief:

…so break in the articles. I already have quite a few, (many thanks to all those who’ve already submitted stuff), and it would be great if you could submit some before the 19th midnight. Anything post that deadline will not be accepted, sorry!
The theme of this issue is Pride. It would be preferable if your submissions (writing, artwork, anything that can be uploaded on www.bekhsoos.com) are Pride-oriented; not just the Pride Marches and/or Parades, but more like what the concept of Pride means to you. If you have nothing to say concerning Pride, but have another topic in mind, please, by all means, do not hesitate to share it.

So what you need to remember is:

Tell us about Pride
Submit your articles before the 19th
Write in any language you feel comfortable with (Arabic, French, English, German, Spanish, Armenian…); our team of translators will translate it, or we would cooperate with you on the translation
For the Meems that live abroad, in countries where the Pride Parade is organized, it would be nice if you tell us about it, if you’ve never participated in it, then it would be interesting if you tell us why. In brief, just tell us, we are curious and there are lots of other curious people out there.

So for submissions or further information please contact the Editor-in-Chief: Jenni on the following email: jenni@meemgroup.org. Or if you’re too shy then just contact me and I will take care of communicating with her.

So juice those pens and amaze us.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Salut tout le monde,J’ai l’honneur de vous invitez à contribuer dans une oeuvre magnifique. Cet oeuvre s’appelle Bekhsoos (avec double O et non OU, faites attention). Bekhsoos est le fruit de la collaboration de toutes les filles et les garcons de Meem. C’est une magazine sympa et tres cool (egalement avec double O et non OU). Le numéro 0 de Bekhsoos est déjà disponible si vous voulez le consulter.

Mais on n’a pas de temps à perdre, numéro prochain ne va pa tarder à paraitre et je veux voir votre contribution dans ce nouveau numéro. Le sujet général sera le Pride et je suis certaine que vous avez beaucoup à dire sur ce sujet.

Alors installer vous bien et écrivez, une fois terminé, il suffit de l’envoyer à Jenni (jenni@meemgroup.org) et que le spectacle commence. mais faites attention il faut l’envoyer avant le 19 Juillet pour que l’équipe puisse le publier. Alors… Yalla pas de temps à perdre

N.B.: si vous voulez consulter le numéro précédent visitez la page suivante: www.bekhsoos.com

Today is a historical day to me for my mom gave me the sign to never tell her about my sexual orientation. It’s a day I will never forget So I was on a women’s beach with my family and there was this lifeguard (a female of course) who hit on me bluntly in front of everyone and particularly in front of my mom and aunts. She sounded like a lesbian to me but I took her as a nice lifeguard who is trying to make friends.
However, as my mother noticed the approaches of the girl, the way she started “ghannijing” me and getting closer to me, she and my aunt suddenly came to me and asked me to get out of the pool. And so I did with a questioning face! Here comes the weird and funny part; when I asked them why did you ask me to get out of the pool my mom answered with fear:

What if she is a lesbian, ya mama shakla lesbian hay!

I laughed on the inside but I tried asking questions to know why my mother got terrified of the lifeguard (a girl) hitting on me. So I asked:

Why would you be afraid of lesbians, mom? Inno do they bite?!

Her answer was:

Everything not normal is terrifying to me and I don’t want you to talk to her again or be next to her.

But this girl never stopped trying to talk to me. So my mother got even more terrified and confessed:

My heart beats so fast from fear every time she talks to you

And so I finally got the sign from my own mother showing how I should never tell her about her daughter being a lesbian, about the truth under my skin, about who I really am and about who I am proud of being. I felt the disappointment, the fear and the irony. I was disappointed because I never imagined people were afraid of lesbians, I mean what are they, terrorists?!?! I was disappointed because it came from my mom, the sign I’ve been waiting for, came out as a negative one. I always wanted to tell you, mom, but after today, I can never imagine telling you, maybe you would be scared of me. I felt scared too, because I kind of defended lesbians, and myself indirectly, while my mother was looking at me with these skeptical eyes of hers, so now I have to watch out for every step so she wouldn’t notice. What a shame it is to be hiding from who you really are and how shameful it feels not to be able to loudly defend women and myself in front of the woman who brought me to this world! The irony was that my mother never got scared when a guy talked to me, I mean if the lifeguard was a guy, would she react the same way? Are lesbians so abnormal in her eyes to the level of preferring a guy hitting on me instead of a girl? And she always refused for me to have a boyfriend (before I even discovered that I’m a lesbian). I hope my experience is a lesson for people to never out until their parents give them the positive safe sign. I wish my mother gave me the sign I’ve been waiting for since 3 years, but she left me highly and deeply disappointed.

Teddy