As we are sitting here, waiting for everyone to sit in their places, excitement is unbelievable. The theater is almost full and you can almost hear all the heartbeats.
And then at 6:12 exactly, total silence. Everyone is watching the book's teaser.
At the end when they say "wisil l bareed... wa akhiran" Everyone claps , nadz on stage, again more clapping that wouldn't allow Nadine to start talking.
One thing is obvious, Nadine can hardly speak.
Why they wrote this book? Because there are programs like "a7mar bl khat l 3areed", because people look at
If you look at elections you will find is stupid, filled with old men that dont look like us! (applause)
Why we want to launch this book? To change the elections, to change the political cast so that they look at us.
The revolution...
The revolution has started through us.
We want to gather all the gay individuals so they become a political force.

And now a word from the Heinrich Boel... What's interesting is that, according to heinrich boell, this is one of the biggest project funded by heinrich boell so far. As a women's rights' project.

And now, to great applause Nadine presents Lina, who has accepted to read the stories in English.
And now... Bareed mista3jil!

Today is IDAHO, the international day against homophobia 2009. Today is the day we commemorate the victims of homophobia, transphobia and xenophobia in general. Today is the day we remember that we are oppressed.
Not that we are ever granted the luxury of forgetting that we are opressed, not that we are ever granted the pleasure of not being a prosecuted minority. No, ya reit. In fact what happens is that we try to ignore it most of the time, we close ourselves up in our community that we forget the pressure, or at least pretend to forget it. But then life bites us in the ass and we are reminded that we are not meant to exist. It is just enough to take a quick look at the world around us to remember where we belong.

Go to California where Harvey Milk was murdered over 2 decades ago, California, the GAY CAPITAL of the world and look at the prop 8. Look at A7mar bl Khat l 3areed. Look at the beautiful initiative of the Baltic Pride and how it was being sabotaged. Look back at Ebru's murder and finally the barbaric attack on gay men in Sassine.

You look at all that and you think to yourself: What the hell are we fighting for? It's feels overwhelming sometimes that we would have to fight this much for the simplest of rights, that on may 2009, homophobia is still the norm and we are still the criminals just because we are true to ourselves. May 2009 and we are still struggling to fight homophobia, shameful don't you think?

But then again, if you look closely at our tiny little world there is so much more than the homophobia, to every act of homophobia there is and will always be even greater acts of LGBT resistance, to every aggression there will be reactions.
Afterall, they killed Harvey Milk but soon Milk will take over the 22nd of May, it will be the "Harvey Milk Day". Prop8 may have passed but there will always people rebels like Melissa Etheridge that will put her money where her mouth is and that knows what she is giving to society. Yimkin there will always be programs like A7mar bil Khat and there will always be violence, because they just don't understand us, but there will always be demonstrations to tell them that we are willing to be peaceful but we will not be passive!

Pazuzu

Starting May 1st, marriage will no longer have genders in Sweden. The law was passed yesterday after 6 hours of discussion. This is not only a positive step for gays and Lesbians but also for transgendered individuals for example. Source: Sweden Legalizes Same Sex Marriage on Advocate.com

Now I won't say that I don't contradicting feelings about this. Marriage is not really what I dream to see in the whole world. I want us to re-think marriage and what it should mean.

But that's not the issue right now. The thing that got me really excited about this decision is that it is gender neutral. It is not a marriage for Gays and Lesbians. It is not a civil union. It is marriage, one, unified marriage, that involves consenting adults. They can be a homosexual, heterosexual, transsexual couple, or anything in between. It's just two people that agreed that they want to get married, to share something, or everything, or anything in between.

Now a friend of mine said something interesting when I told him about this news: They are trying to top the Gay prides and gay image thingies yalli 3am bi seero in other Europ. countries.

And he's right. At a certain moment anything can be used for publicity and competition. To be honest, that is the least of my worries. Our struggle for human dignity and unconditional respect is not commercial, it's a struggle for survival and basic human rights. We are proud people and no one should have the right to insult our pride. We are normal, with or without a paper, that allows us to be perceived as normal. We exist whether or not we have the right to live. We are a productive part of society, equally smart and equally productive to anyone else. That is why, we have a lot to give to this world, the more they give us the more society will improve, that is the message that some countries and companies are starting to pick up, and this is why homosexuality is so cool in some places. Simply because we have been marginalized for too long, we have always been cool they just never realized it before ;)

On Wednesday, January 29, 2009, ahmar bel khat l 3arid on LBC aired a show concerning LGBTQ’s in the Arab World. The show consisted of a bunch of LGBTQ men and women who were from different countries in the Middle East. The program depicted LGBTQ’s as abused, fatherless, tormented people. This show is an insult to all the LGBTQ communities that have been working so hard to break the mould that being gay/lesbian is acquired and a disease.

The anchor of the show was disrespectful, homophobic, and subjective. He did not allow people who were advocating the gay cause to speak freely without interrupting them or cutting them off and moving on to another person. Furthermore, the show had a psychiatrist who seemed to be homophobic. Also, although there were many people attempting to call in on the show and correct their mistakes, the screening of calls were only allowing people who either disapproved of homosexuality or were not challenging the direction that the producers were trying to take.

When I initially heard that this show was going to be aired, I felt a recipe for disaster about to occur. However, never in my wildest dreams did I believe that it could have possibly become this bad. For all those who watched the show, and joined in on the discussions, there was a general consensus that the program was pathetic and basically cheated the general public from being truly educated on the subject of homosexuality.

The show was basically a commercial to get more people to watch it and to try to “cure” the gay people. I am extremely disappointed, personally insulted, and seriously hurt for the gay organizations who have worked so hard on this cause. Ahmar bel Khat l 3ared is a homophobic show and making an effort to gain a few extra ratings by tackling a controversial topic that not many know the truth about. I sincerely hope that one day; someone will really speak out and inform the public of the truth. This national and international ignorance must be corrected. Ignorance may be bliss but it is also a dangerous weapon that should be eliminated.



Smurf

Psychologist: Homosexuality is not an illness

Hana2:
Anchor: did you ever think that your husband cheated on you because he was sexually not satisfied with you
Hana2: no, men are cheaters, the man is a cheater
Anchor: I love men even with treason. I would never give up on men

Psychologist: Maybe Mrs. Hana2 has more sexually has more sexual needs than usual. In her case maybe
Sexual identity starts with the oedipus, the normal oedipus when the man gets attracted to the woman. Lesbians would seek to be obtain the man's body and for male homosexuality the man fuses with his mother and would seek to be with men like him


Omro Rifai: I love my dad, he's volatile but he was a good man
Anchor: do you think did something wrong?
Omro: yes
Achor: do you think you and your mom is one?


_______________________Break_____________________

Anchor to Amr: did anyone abuse you?
Amr: no
Anchor: But you were abused when you were 13, how did you feel?
Amr: tricked
Anchor: as a teenager, how was your relationship with women?
Amr: Awesome, I loved them
Anchor: physically?
Amr: yes once

Anchor: How did your sexual orientation to men evolve?
Amr: My friends, they influenced me, I fantasized about them and then it evolved
Anchor: did you ever feel something stopping you inside?
Amr: there is nothing wrong about it
Anchor: what is wrong what is right? homosexuality is wrong
amr: not a lot, but I want something better

psychologist: all homos feel guilty, even those who think they are not guilty, he has all the signs that made him gay, the absence of the father, abuse at early age, recurrent sexual behavior. He used to enjoy abuse subconsciously enjoyed. He was not born gay, he acquired homosexuality. Homosexuals can change and have a stable hetero relationships

Anchor to amr: what do you find in men?
Amr: tenderness, affection
Anchor: do you look for a man like your father
Amr: no
How do you find sexual ratification? is it easy?
Amr: no
Anchor: Internet?
Amr: yes, of course, like facebook
did you ever try to stop yourself? did you work?
Amr: I tried, it didnt work, now I stopped
do you still think of men?
Amr: no khalas
Anchor: do you think of women? or of men like women
Amr: if I wanted a woman I would have been with a true woman, as god has created her


Participant from the crowd: god spoke about this and banned this completely. Think of the people of Lut. God threw rocks at them. We all sin but to see sin as right that is horrible. This is not born with people, it's acquired, by bad way to be raised, dominant mothers, god is all forgiving, but you must fight the devil.

Amr: you dont agree with what we say, right?
Participant: you say that this is what you have become, you can change
Amr: but think of me as your son would you accept me?
Participant: no, of course not.

Anchor: but I read in the washington post that homosexual relationships are not stable
Amr: but they cheat because they think it's cool
Anchor: what do you think of our societies?
Amr: retards

Reportage: a guy who prostituted himself for a man, then he met his friends and so on. They portray him in a very crappy crappy apartment. "I became perverted because of my poverty"

Anchor to psychologists: gays want to change. Homosexuality is acquired, but how does two siblings grow different
Psychologist: because it's not always about the family. The child may identify with someone else than the father

Caller: I am openly gay, I have been living here for a while in qatar and in kuweit before that. I live very normally.
Anchor: how did you tell your parents?
Call: when I was in a long relationship I told them
Anchor: how did they accept it
Call: they accpet me though they are religious, but they accept me because they love me and they love my friend.

_____________________BREAK__________________

Tawiya: I respect men and love men, they are our fathers, brothers....
Anchor: How do you seduce women
Tawiya: there is not seduction, there is attraction
Anchor: does a butchy woman attract you?
Tawiya: I am butchy, i want a feminine strong woman
Anchor: isnt that contradictory?
Tawiya: Look feminine is not weak
Anchor: do you look for sex in women?
Tawiya: No! I look for affection
Anchor: cant a man give you affection
Tawiya: Of course they can, as a father, as a brother...
Anchor: were you ever with a man physically?
Tawiya: I was engaged with two men


Psychologist: fantasies are very diverse, just as humans are

Call3 (Adel): This is unacceptable. This should be repressed

Psychologist: Society is homophobic, homophobia is a reaction to the repressed homosexual half of human beings.

Call4: I agree with the acquired theory, I was sexually abused as a kid and I tried to stop myself from homosexuality but i couldnt.

Anchor: Homosexuality is illegal in Algeria
Tawiya


Mohammad l Hamed (Psy): It is not normal and not acceptable

Psychologist: This is not an illness but it can be changed

Hello everyone - this is a call to an urgent action by all of us.

Wednesday, January 27 at 9.30 pm (Beirut time), LBC is going to tackle the subject of homosexuality on their show A7mar bel khatt el 3arid.

It is very important for us to watch this show to write about it, blog about it, and comment about it. It is also very important to CALL IN to express support for LGBT in Lebanon and to correct whatever wrong things they people will be saying on the show.

So please make sure you watch the show Wednesday at 9.30pm and call the numbers that appear on the screen. Call from Lebanon, the Arab world, and internationally.

When you call, here are some points you should raise:

1. Doctors, psychologists, sociologists, philosophers, and experts all agree the homosexuality is normal. Therefore, it shouldn't be treated as a topic of "a7mar bil khatt il 3areed"
2. Lebanese media should deal with this topic supportively, not just put homosxuals or transsexuals on display.
3. There are hundreds of thousands of LGBT in Lebanon and they are tax-paying citizens. They deserve full rights as anyone else.
4. Last Thursday, two gay men were beaten up brutally by soldiers on Sassine Square. This inhumanity towards homosexuals is not accepted. And existing

---

Meem will be blogging live on Wednesday as the show is taking place. Watch the show and have your opinion about everything.

In Meem we are often asked why we never do high profile media work? Since we are so progressive and we are so comfortable with our gender and sexual identity, why don’t we just go on TV and say it out loud, if we want to reach out to each and every Queer and Trans in Lebanon? And trust me their argument is quite strong, we are not ashamed of who we are, we love our identity, we love being who we are. Homosexuality is not the problem, Homophobia is. God loves us, it’s bigot and hypocrites that God despises. But we don’t want to go public, we don’t want to reveal the names of Members. Why? Because when anyone comes to Meem, it is not advocacy that s/he looks for, it is support. Some people choose to remain in the closet for the rest of their lives and that is their choice and their decision. It’s really cool to go down in the streets and to scream: Civil Rights or Civil War… hm, actually that wouldn’t sound so cool, but I am sure we can find some slogan that makes sense to our society and to our community. It’s really exciting! I personally can’t wait for the day when I would stand in the Lebanese parliament and ask all those men (and wives/sisters/daughters of men) a few questions. I can’t wait to ask them why I am still not a citizen just because I happen to have a vagina? Why do I need a man to give my children a last name when I already have one? Why is it that society would much rather see two men shooting each other instead of seeing two loving each other? Why is it that my gender is decided by a doctor just by looking at me naked? And I would like to ask them why my society is segregated according to something as superficial as sexes? Why do I have to choose which bathroom to go to, what wardrobe to wear, where do I get to sit in a car? So many questions I would like to ask them while looking them straight in the eyes and see them baffle and have nothing to answer, or giving me answers that wouldn’t convince anyone. But the truth remains that if I am ready others or not, if my parents would accept me others wouldn’t accept their queer kids, some would much rather see their daughters dead and never see them changing their gender. And we tend to under-estimate how much we need or want our parents to love us and accept us. We like to tell ourselves inno eh ibloune ibloune, ma ibloune yostoflo. But in the end of the day, we love our parents, we really and truly just want them to love us. We don’t want our mothers to cry and we don’t want our fathers to be sad. It’s not because we don’t conform to social standards that we will not love our parents. It hurts us when they don’t accept us and sometimes, it is really much better if we wait till we are ready to risk it all and come out to them. A lot of people (including LGBTQs) take the coming out process lightly; they think that it’s easy. But it’s not, the long term effect of social rejection can range from depression to physical illness. And it all makes you wonder, is it always worth it?

I was reading the other day this article, it’s mainly statistics conducted on young people which showed a higher percentage of teenage pregnancies among the gay population. Shocking, no? I mean why would gays and lesbians want to have sex with the opposite sex, which is the only way to get an unwanted pregnancy? It must be that homosexuals are not really homosexuals as they claim, it must be that they became homosexuals because they had a bad experience with the opposite sex (e.g. an unwanted pregnancy). Those who never had a pregnancy case must’ve had another sort of bad experience.
Well, I doubt it. No not because I never had bad experiences with men. I mean I had bad experiences with men but then again almost every woman I know has had at least one horribly bad experience with men; that was not enough to turn almost every woman I know into a Lesbian, hell even I am not a Lesbian.
But read the article carefully, the scientist himself/herself gives you a hint to where to look for the answer. Homosexuals seek heterosexual sex to cover up for the fact that they are homosexuals. Other explanations could be given, but the need to hide your homosexuality is enough to get you in trouble.
Which takes us to the real problem behind this unhealthy phenomenon, homophobia. You see as Meems we never recommend a coming out to anyone. It is dangerous to do so. Even if you are accidently outed and therefore predict problems, deny it! Say it is not true and do whatever it takes to convince others that you are not gay! Hypocrite you may think but this is often less dangerous than facing homophobic parents.
Keep in mind people, heal homophobia not homosexuality. Homosexuality is healthy biodiversity, homophobia is a dangerous form of xenophobia. Just as being black is not an illness, racism is. The Jews were not the problem, Hitler was.
What usually happens with sexual minorities like ours is that we are not born into our minorities, black people are born from black families, now they may be the only black family but at least they have their parents that are like them. And the same is for Jews for example. But you can be a homosexual born from heterosexual parents. In that case you will feel very alienated, you feel that you are alone, and that you are probably wrong, something must be wrong with you. And invisibility weighs heavily on you, you realize that others will not understand. If others know, they will react negatively, they might look at you differently, but they might also mock you or physically attack you. If you work, you may lose your job. So you better not be outed!
This is particularly the case when you are still in school, for many reasons:

School environments are the most obvious examples of peer pressure and conformism pressure. School regulations, or the fact that the kid’s life is centered on his school, the spirit of competition, the idea that anything else than your school is negligible once compared to your school performance… all these factors contribute to making your school experience a really difficult one if you don’t conform to the majority.

You cannot control your school environment, you may be totally convinced that your homosexuality does not influence your normalcy (which is rare but still) you are forced to be in an environment strongly influenced by parental authority (LBGTs trying to raise awareness in schools are first and foremost scared of parental disapproval and fury, even when the legislation is favorable).
As a result, please don’t be gay in school, unless you live in some areas of Belgium where they like homosexuals. There is like this unspoken law that says that you cannot be gay in school, very few people escape its tyranny.

This is why this study is so relevant to our work in Meem. You see, we painfully lack studies on queer issues in the Middle East. Turning to other regions for material can help, but it has its limitations, if they survey homosexual adults then the situation they live in is different than the situation of adults that live here in Lebanon. Unfortunately, school environments are still a bit closer to our situation right now in the Middle East. Plus, this study emphasized the results of homophobia, instead of trying to explain homosexuality. I honestly don’t care what made me queer, what I care about is how I am treated because of my homosexuality. And this study, just like many others, proves, that homophobia kills, thus the urgency of dealing with it. The world didn’t start admitting the existence of Gay Men in the States until the HIV epidemic, and this is only one of the problems that the homophobia imposes on us.

The homophobic society we live in uses the results of its homophobia to prove that we are sick leeches that need to be dealt with at all cost. And that is one of the reasons why we work to break the Lesbian stigma. We don’t smoke because we sleep with women, we don’t do drugs, we don’t cut our veins, we don’t abuse our lovers because we sleep with women and we don’t do any of it because we have a problem with our gender identity. No. We suffer all these problems because of homophobia. Because we are not accepted, not even from those that we need to accept us, we suffer all this because our own parents would much rather see us dead than see us for who we really are, because our life-long friends would stop wanting our friendship because they fear us as predators.

To change all that, in ourselves and in others, we wish to change things. We want you to see our true colors, and love us because or in spite of them. Is that too much to ask for?

Saba7o girls and boys w ya3tikon l 3afye,

After the outing of the issue 0 of our Magazine “Bekhsoos” titled: Bekhsoos l homophobia

And after the Internal and International admiration that this magazine has collected, it’s time for everyone to get their brains back to work and start preparing for the next issue.

Quoting the crazy Editor-in-Chief:

…so break in the articles. I already have quite a few, (many thanks to all those who’ve already submitted stuff), and it would be great if you could submit some before the 19th midnight. Anything post that deadline will not be accepted, sorry!
The theme of this issue is Pride. It would be preferable if your submissions (writing, artwork, anything that can be uploaded on www.bekhsoos.com) are Pride-oriented; not just the Pride Marches and/or Parades, but more like what the concept of Pride means to you. If you have nothing to say concerning Pride, but have another topic in mind, please, by all means, do not hesitate to share it.

So what you need to remember is:

Tell us about Pride
Submit your articles before the 19th
Write in any language you feel comfortable with (Arabic, French, English, German, Spanish, Armenian…); our team of translators will translate it, or we would cooperate with you on the translation
For the Meems that live abroad, in countries where the Pride Parade is organized, it would be nice if you tell us about it, if you’ve never participated in it, then it would be interesting if you tell us why. In brief, just tell us, we are curious and there are lots of other curious people out there.

So for submissions or further information please contact the Editor-in-Chief: Jenni on the following email: jenni@meemgroup.org. Or if you’re too shy then just contact me and I will take care of communicating with her.

So juice those pens and amaze us.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Salut tout le monde,J’ai l’honneur de vous invitez à contribuer dans une oeuvre magnifique. Cet oeuvre s’appelle Bekhsoos (avec double O et non OU, faites attention). Bekhsoos est le fruit de la collaboration de toutes les filles et les garcons de Meem. C’est une magazine sympa et tres cool (egalement avec double O et non OU). Le numéro 0 de Bekhsoos est déjà disponible si vous voulez le consulter.

Mais on n’a pas de temps à perdre, numéro prochain ne va pa tarder à paraitre et je veux voir votre contribution dans ce nouveau numéro. Le sujet général sera le Pride et je suis certaine que vous avez beaucoup à dire sur ce sujet.

Alors installer vous bien et écrivez, une fois terminé, il suffit de l’envoyer à Jenni (jenni@meemgroup.org) et que le spectacle commence. mais faites attention il faut l’envoyer avant le 19 Juillet pour que l’équipe puisse le publier. Alors… Yalla pas de temps à perdre

N.B.: si vous voulez consulter le numéro précédent visitez la page suivante: www.bekhsoos.com