ANA SHEZZE

It is true, I am Shezze, I am queer. What is even truer is that I am deeply proud of my shouzouz. You see, shouzouzé means that I don’t belong to where I was born and that is something to be proud of, non? Let me explain to you.
According to the norms of where I was born, I am a woman. I have the breasts, the vagina and the soft skin, ya3ne I am a woman, walaw? Therefore I cannot walk alone on the street =I am an “unperfect woman” = men would have the right to harass me on the street.
Tough I resent this mentality I realize that this is the reality of where I was born, just as the pacifists during the civil war realized that war was the reality of where they were born and they were forced to hide away. Now of course this doesn’t mean that there were no way I could be independent, to protect myself all I need is a car… hm, but I don’t have one. So I avoid stay out of my house after 9:00pm.
So on Friday, I was going home at the limit of the permitted where I was born, at 9:30pm. Une fois 3al Dawra, I realize that I didn’t have my wallet with me. Oops! It must have fallen in my friends’ car, so I call her (yes another condition to survive where I was born is to have a cell phone to salvage you in difficult situations such as the one I was in). 3 minutes later I find out that I still have some money on me and can go home without having her coming to pick me up. It was 9:45pm, OooO… I smell danger.
But it’s going to be fine I think to myself. I just make sure I call my friend telling her not to come pick me up and head straight to where the buses… or were supposed to be. I had exceeded my time limit, the buses were gone and I was in serious trouble. But it’s fine, I can survive this.
The fact that I was walking alone, a bit uncertain going back and forth, unsure what to do for a couple of minutes, meant that most of men/predators had detected my smell and were observing me. I knew I was going to get harassed, I knew that a girl in my situation is for them a victim that they are legally allowed to torture. But it’s fine! Again, I have been in these situations before and I survived them and lived to talk about it.
Well, I passed by a couple of guys, one those men that scare you (or is it any man that scares you when you are in my situation?). Anyway, typically the first sign of your vulnerability in these situations is that the predators start discussing you in your face:

- Bint yamma sabe hayda?

And for our non Arabic readers :

- Is he a boy or a girl?

But it’s fine I guess, it wasn’t the first time that my sexual identity was questioned, though I didn’t look particularly boyish that day. The real treat was when the second guy opens his mouth. I guess he was encouraged by his friend’s attitude, thinking maybe I am a boy that likes to look like girls, to be honest, I am not sure what he was thinking but he said to me:

-Baddak nitsalla? Ta3a nitsalla

Again, respecting the non Arabic readers:

-Wanna have fun? Let’s have fun together

I wish to solicit your attention, dear non Arabic reader, the Arabic makes the difference between the male and the female you are talking to, so I know for sure that the dude assumed I was a he. Now I may not look like a woman but I certainly do not look like a man! So in fact I look like an androgynous thing. My superior intelligence forewarns me that this particular predator, like any other predator of his kind, is not particularly brilliant.
You don’t get where I’m getting at? Ok I’ll be clear: The predator assumed I was a teenage boy. A real boy, like old enough to be 156cm but not old enough to have a beard. But, dear reader, if you from where I was born, what would be more revolting for you? The fact that the predator finds a male appealing or that he finds a kid appealing? For me it is clear, it is his pedophilia that bothers me. His taste for underage individuals repulses me. But I find it sad that in my society expressions of both Homosexuality and pedophilia are almost always there. Heyk, disgusting bundles of perversion walking on the street late at night, when the good people are all safe at home, asleep.
Disturbing, non?

~Pazuzu and Her Serpentine Penis