ok here is something that really pisses me off......

i know that people grow up in a society where you have "Men" and
"Women", where the women are submissive to their men and have no say
when it comes to big decisions. They are born into this world to have
children, raise them, cook, take care of the house and their husbands
and keep quiet....

i know we've come a long way from there but that mentality still
exists today in our society and is just, how should i put this, ......

i dont understand why we have to take that and put it in everything
around us....

the other day i was with my psychologist, yes i see a psychologist and i
honestly think everybody should!!!! so i was saying, i was talking to
him and he asked me if i were more into the "femme" genre or the
"butch" genre..... i didnt get what he meant and that because, for me,
i grew up in a society where you were either straight or gay. i didnt
make the difference between femme and butch, i just had the homosexual
concept in my head

i think it is just another way to categorize things, butch being what
the world know as "man" and femme what people know as "woman".

all that just makes me sick.....

i believe that we, and by we i mean all women; straight, bi, lesbians,
all women are both femme and butch.

femme and butch are just 2 concepts the first to describe the feminine
side of the woman and the second to describe the more "manly" side

i believe that all women are feminine and butch. Even if you are
overweight or that you have a very manly look or body. its not in the
looks, its in how you act and how you think.

all women are feminine. when you see a baby and go "aaaaawwwwww" you
are feminine. when you are with your friends and compliment them on
their look, you are feminine. when you hug your friend and cuddle, you
are feminine. when you close your eyes when you kiss your loved one,
you are feminine.

all women, at some point, are butch. when you find yourself standing
up for yourself, when everything is going against you, you are butch.
when you have to take care of yourself and your loved ones you are
butch. when you get into fights and you shout your lungs out to make a
point and be heard, you are butch.
it is bad enough that we are subject to discrimination in our society,
we dont need that in our community, we need to stand up for ourselves
and forget all about the stereotypes we grew up with and start living
in a healthier world.

Bi and Proud


  1. Alex // 13 October 2009 at 11:42  


    I think for the first time I can agree with your post here. I'm a bit bad and always seek for something to disagree but this time I must say I agree wholeheartedly about butch and femme. Pretty cool how you elaborated on it as I never saw it that way but I think you are right. Butch and femme are concepts invented by the straight society so they know who plays the man and who the woman in a lesbian relationship. Looking butch eventually told them the girl is not interested in men. But than again there are straight girls looking butch as well. Looking femme it's harder to know the orientation of the girl as they tend to be more common. The reasons why some women take on the butch look can be various. Some feel more comfortable with the short hair look, feel more comfortable in what they call 'men's' clothes or they hate dresses and skirts. Other butch girls know that this look will tell other people they are gay so guys don't hit on them (most guys are not attracted to butch look). And there are butch girls who know that it will get them the attraction of some femme girls. Some femme girls are really into the butch look and vice versa. If most lesbian relationships are butch-femme I don't know. They just tend to be more visible. 2 Femme girls holding hands is often seen as them just being friends and not lesbian lovers (that's what the straight guys hope anyway, can you hear them cry shame already if they found out a femme girl is lesbian?). But I'm pretty sure worldwide all the combinations butch/femme, femme/femme and butch/butch have a fair share. I for example know mostly femme/femme couplings. I really wished it wasn't so but I have also heard about butches who are like that so they can wear the pants in a butch/femme relationship meaning she can dominate her femme girl and do whatever she likes while her femme lover just has to be nice and listen. Which is comparable to some straight relationships in which the guy dominates the girl. Butch girls like that are IMO guys in disguise and should be avoided. But on the other hand there are femme girls who like to be dominated. I never understood that but yeah we are all different. Butch/femme are stereotypes indeed invented by the straight community. I you are a lesbian girl you decide what you do with that. Do you choose to play into them or not? Whther you do or don't you will be condemned anyway by the straight society...

  2. Shane // 22 October 2009 at 08:42  

    mmm... i was reading your poste, very interesting... but it made me think about what you have to say:

    Why does everybody have to see a psychologist?
    i think i'm my own psychologist lol... to begin with...

    The fact that women are submisive to men, is no ones fault, but the women them selves, they can change this idea! but no ... they dont want too... they think a guy is everything... he knows everything, he can take good care of them... well... maybe!!! but a woman can take care of her self as well... !!! so its their fault, bringin them selves second to men!

    I think it should be equal...

    if a girl thinks a guy can protect her... and keep bad things from happenin to her... then why do some men, come to women for protection??

    overall i love your poste! keep it up!!!

  3. Alex // 24 October 2009 at 14:47  

    I first though about waiting what Bap was going to say on this matter but I can't restrain myself from reacting again. I think it's fair to ask you the same question on why everyone should need a psychologist. If you are not unhappy I don't think you are in need of one. Shane said to be his own psychologist and that might work but not for everyone lol. Not everyone understands him or herself that well.

    I was also surprised by Shane telling how women in Lebanon condemn themselves to be second rate citizens towards men. Of course that might be society and education pushing themselves into these roles and so they don't know any better. I doubt however if all girls are happy settling for these roles. In Europe there was emancipation of women because they wanted to be equal to men (having the same rights etc). They weren't just content any more with playing breeding pods for the kids and always stay home, their life being dull and lonely. So the divorce rate is low in Lebanon Shane told me, but I woner about the happiness rate. In Europe the dicorce rate might be high but there are hardly any women who want to stay in an unhappy marriage. In the past they would have done so because of the kids or because they are afraid of being beaten by their husband or afraid to be poor because they were financially dependent from him (which was mostly because they didn't get a degree). The funny thing is that Lebanese girls go to school even university and get a degree only to get married and have kids after that and no career. What a waste of money and talent I think.

    I'm not saying the whole Lebanese mentality is wrong but I would just like to invite those girls who think men have all wisdom in store to visit Europe and see it can be different and that women can have kids AND a career without needing to be financially dependent on men. Some families even having the men stay at home to take care of the kids. Does that make him less of a man, of course not. The kids would be happy with daddy looking after them too and not being a stranger to them...

    To conclude how can u be sure that everything goes wrong men would not be the ones to decide. So far in history it was mostly them to decide on things and look at the many wars there have been. So it is actually very funny to think that women could not do that better. If they maybe got a chance to do so and than we can discuss again who is best ...