A mon Idole ,
J’ai besoin de tes grands yeux noirs , pleins de rêves . . .
de tes tendres baisers , pleins de fièvre . . .
de ta tendre bouche parfaite , qui quand je me frôle ,me fait monter
au septième ciel . . .
Dans mon Coeur , tu as fait planter le Bonheur
Qui depuis que tu vas partir , va se transformer en grande peine . . .
Demain , j’aurai de plus en plus peur
De te perdre à tout jamais . . .
Même si tu ne cesse de hanter mes nuits
J’aimerai pouvoir te dire
Que ma vie , je te la dédie . . .
Sans Toi, rien n’est pareil
Mais pourtant c’est bien réel
Quand j’irai vous rencontrer
Nous ne serons plus séparées
Nous allons nous nager dans les océans de nos rêves . . .

L.e.n.s

Dear my heart,
After you’ve been around the block a couple of times, you start to draw your standards. You start to figure out what you want and what you need and how to compromise between the two. It takes time and effort and a lot of work, that normally you wouldn’t have done. But you feel it when the person you’re with is worth fighting for, worth trying for… worth feeling for. And you get your heart broken. Because that’s how the story goes. People keep falling in and out of love their entire life. They’re always seeking new ways and new people to fill the void, that empty little black hole in their existence. And filling up that little black hole, it makes all the difference. It gives your life meaning. I mean, let’s face it: a life without love?! A life without that special someone to watch over you and witness as you fulfill your destiny? That’s no life at all!

And in the midst of falling in and out of love, there is that one person! That one love that stands out from all the rest. Raising your standards so high that it makes it almost impossible to find anyone else to rise to the occasion, ever!

And even if you were the one to flee this love, this commitment. Even if you were the one who could not handle that much affection and wrap your mind and heart around that much comprehension and devotion. Even if you were the one to break her heart, you still end up heart broken, unfixable.

Along the way of your healing process, you stumble across a new person. You like that person so much that you think “ maybe, just maybe that person will fix my heart”. And you live in that fantasy trying to recreate what you had felt before all the while knowing deep down that there is no way the two can be compared!

The thing is you never brace yourself for the other outcome: the possibility where this new person is not supposed to heal your heart, but where you’re supposed to fix your heart on your own.

You know when someone stands out from the rest. Even if you’ve only been through a couple of relationships. Even if half of them don’t count. Even if you still have 100 lives to live. You know when someone is a turning point in your life. You know when that someone will be the pillar to which everyone else will be compared.

You can tell when you’ve been imprinted by a love so strong and so perfect.

Dear my heart, I am so sorry I had to put you through this. I am so sorry I made all of your next conquests meaningless. I wish you nothing more but to be able to get past through that one day, to be able to feel again through the numbness.

Dear my heart, I am sincerely hoping this is the last time I write you such a letter… twice in a lifetime is quite enough. I hope we never meet again.

Yours sincerely, Destiny.

kim

I had a dream
it seemed beautiful ..
it was lighting like a candle
giving hope all over the place..
giving warm feelings to me
day after day.
day after day..
and this candle started to lose the charm
started to lose the light
hope, love, faith
they all started to fade away..
it started to get dark..
you know what i mean
the hope is gone..
the faith is is gone
only love was hanging in there..
and i knew ..
it will go away..with no looking back
with cruelness it will go
with knives straight in the heart
and it will let it bleed and bleed

i know i will have scares that will keep reminding me!!

so i took a deep breathe..and a deep look
realizing that the candle is suffering since there is no air to keep it shine
and in no time
i turn it off..i let it die..
i was sad and i am still
my heart is sore with no tears..

this is my dream..
i let it die..
and it hurt
it is so painful
that i feel
so fucking high.

JO.D

This was inspired by someone's note - What's Love Got To Do With It? - It got me thinking about the normative view of the "ideal" partner and the "healthy" relationship. I still don't seem to get the general consensus or the fine line it draws between what's "good" and what's "bad".

Typical "Mouwasafet" of the Better Half - honest, loyal, unique, educated, a good listener, not alcoholic, not on drugs, doesn't sleep around, etc. etc.

How inflexible is that? & What does it take to break the norm? Love?

Assume you're in love. With a married person. "Cheating" takes a whole new meaning. It may even lose its meaning. You thought you'd never bear it, but there s/he is, in bed, with his/her spouse, every night.

Or if you're in love with a compulsive liar. Or a pessimist. Or a dramaqueen.
Or a prostitute. Or a constant traveler. Or a "bottom" like yourself.

Do you lose the relationship? Or the ego?
Along with the core "values" you'd always sought?

When do they cease to matter - the lies, the drama, the ego, the distance, the hash, the multiple partners, etc? When do you become immune to the "bad" stuff? How do you make peace with it? Why go through it in the first place? What makes it worth it?

Do such "relationships" ever end? I don't get how such a love can be defeated. Or is there a difference, between the love and the relationship?

I don't know.

-tfm

Life starts tonight
Under the moonlight
On our back we lie
Our hearts to the sky

Stars above our bed
Circulating in my head
A meteor passes fast
A spell it does cast

The clouds make way
An order they obey
And the sun shines on

So so life has begun
This time with a spark
Between us in the dark

A word or two i speak
The night's at its peek

Love you whisper gently
As us intertwined we be

Our future's just a night away

The night's just a minute away

Tru

I never really knew that you were everything in my life..
I never really knew that you made me feel secure and happy
I never really knew that you being in heaven means me being in hell.
But I will take this time out, and I will change my life forever.
and I will jump out of my hole that I put myself in.
and no..I don't feel guilty for me being who I am.
I will never feel guilty cuz I couldn't say sorry before you go.
Because I know that you forgave my immaturity with your big heart.

JO.D

إستيقَظَت ذاتَ صباح ورأَت أنَّ حياتها لا معنى لها، وباتت تهرُب مِن ماضيها وحاضِرِها، وربّما مِن مُستقبلٍ مجهول قد بدأت تهابُه.كانت سعيده أو رُبّما لا، كانت تعتقِد أنّها سعيده، رُبّما لأنّها كانت تُخفي حُزنها وألمها في داخِلِها ولم تكُن تبوح بهِ لأحد. أدركت ذات صباح أنَّ حياتها فارِغه، لا تعرِف ماذا تُريد ولماذا تحيا، وفجأةً يرُنُّ هاتِفُها وتغمُرها فرحةٌ لا تُوصف، تشعُر أنّها تطير، فحبيبتها قد إتّصلت بها، وكأنَّ الجنّه قد فتحت أبوابها ونارُ جُهنّمٍ قد إنطفَأت

T.N.T

I spent my life trying to please them.But for one time in my life...I am going to please myself.I am going to do something I love, for the first time in my life.

JO.D

People don’t ask you why you have dark hair or why your skin color is darker than theirs.People don’t ask you why you have green eyes or why your face has this shape.People don’t ask you why you are a Christian or a Muslim or Jewish or of any religion.They know that the answer to all of these questions is the same: I was born like thiswhy can’t they understand then, that we are born with our sexuality, it is not a choice that we make?i understand the fact that they find it hard to accept it and that only because they fear what they do not know.Homosexuality is in the nature around us. Some animals are homosexuals, some of them are hermaphrodites, and some are asexual.....We are all the children of God; we were all born the same way.Why do we have to be treated any different???We are all human beings, we are all living in the same world, and we all have 2 eyes, 2 arms, 2 legs and 1 heart. why can't people just use that last one for once and start looking at us as persons and not as gender or anything else to that matter....I want to grow up in a world where I can go up to a person and just say "hi I’m a bisexual" without being "destroyed" by the looks, the words and all the rest....

BI and proud

J ai juste ces qlqs mots pour me soutenir pour m aider à rester pied sur terre. Ces qlq mots, j’y tiens férocement! Je ne veux pas les redonner pour une autre…
Et la tu viens, toute parfaite que tu es, pour me les enlever, me les demander… et je te les donne sans y penser… ta voix sensuelle, ton corps érotique, ta douceur irrésistible et ta pudeur enfantine…
Comment te résister… comment te laisser partir… comment ne pas te saisir tant que je le peux?
D’ou est ce que tu es venue? Je n’t’avais même pas vu apparaitre… juste me prendre mon souffle a première vue…
Et comment croire a qlq chose aussi magnifique et mystérieux que toi? Tes mots?
Ah ta voix… ce qu’elle me fait…
Tu m’emporte dans un autre monde… j’attends avec impatiente chaque fois que je te rencontre… cette rencontre fugitive ou te me délaisse de tout mes chagrins et c’est juste toi et moi, la en ce moment, personne d’autre… juste nous deux…
Ces histoires ne se passent que dans les contes fantastiques! Deux regards qui se rencontrent et voila… c’est le début d’une histoire incomparable, une aventure légendaire, une expérience incroyable… j’en suis sur que ce serait une danse a ne pas oublier…
Je ne peux pas m’en passer… je ne peux pas m’en lasser….
Je n’arrête pas de me rappeler cette scène…cette scène dans l’arrière plan… parce qu’en effet, tout ce dont je me rappelle ceux sont tes lèvres, ton parfum, tes mains si acharnées, ton corps réponds au mien… et tes soupirs… tes soupirs me tuent…. M’hypnotisent… j’en hallucine!
Ton aura mystérieuse m’intrigue. Je veux te connaitre, je veux mémoriser tes expressions, je veux te bercer la nuit, te parler pour des heures durant… je veux que te me redonne vie, que tu souffle dans mon cœur devenu froid… je veux que tu me déracine de ce cercle vicieux et que tu m’emporte la ou on est bien ensemble… toi et moi…
Une histoire inconçue… une histoire imprévue...
Une joie qui tape a notre porte…

Kim